Letters From Treebeard
by ar-elenriel
Summary: A record of Treebeards communications with Fanfiction Writers, and various persona in Middle Earth. This chronicles the end of the 3rd and the beginning of the fourth age. Chapter 4. The Search for the Entwives ends.
1. Chapter 1 Letter to Mary Sue and Gary St

A Letter to Mary Sues and Parody Writers from Treebeard Lord of Fangorn Forest.

By arelenriel

To: Fan Fiction Writers Inc

Anywhere, Earth

July 23, 2006

From: Lord Treebeard Barumrlalhumratathreandomba

Fangorn Forest:

Eregion, Middle Earth

July 23, Sixth Age of Middle Earth

To whom it may concern:

We Ents have a few issues with you humans right now. This is as a result of serious misspellings of the name of our forests, consistent droppings of strangers from Earth into our lands, and the slanderous accusations against our friends the Elves. So we have decided to write an open letter to all fan fictions writers in order to correct these mistakes.

**1: It is Fangorn Forest not Faghorn Forest, Please read the Lord of the Rings and Check Chapter 4 of the Two Towers for the correct spelling of Fangorn.**

**2. It is physically impossible for an Ent to have sexual relations with any of the other children of Iluvater (if you have not read the books in your world he is called God) other then possible Yavanna in her tree form which we would not do. She is married to Aule god of Smiths and Crafting. He would chop us up to use as kindling in his forges for that.**

**Elves, humans, hobbits, and especially dwarves are out of the question. Besides we are all married as well and would never cheat on the Entwives even if we do not see them until the End of Days.**

**3. I was never in a threesome with Legolas and Gimli see above statement for reasons why.**

**4. I am not a self hating evil bastard that allowed Saruman to chop down the Ents and Huorns that I hated for his Orc Factory.**

**5. Although I get along fairly well with all of the races I have not, nor will I ever raise one of their children. It is physically impossible for an Ent to care for the child of any other race without squashing it. The Hobbits were so small that if they had not drunk Ent Water they would not have survived their sojourn in our woods.**

**6. It is stupid and foolish to continually set my forest on fire as a plot bunny. I am the servant of Yavanna. Do you think that this would realistically happen in in my woods?**

**7. If you are in doubt about any plot points in Lord of the Rings always refer to the books. The movies although good were not accurate. If you don't like to read get the audio books. I have listened to them and they are almost as good as the written copy. Although they do not have the appendices where most of the real information about Arda is found. **

**8. Always refer to the indexes for proper usage of Elven, Rohirric, and Westron. Not various websites that claim to teach Elven. Do not mix Quenya and Sindarin unless there is no choice. Quenya is like Latin. It is used in ME only by scholars and for concepts such as the Two Trees that the Sindarin elves have no concept of. Much like Latin in your Earth is used only by Lawyers and Medical Professionals. **

**9. Remember Elf Lords (and purists) get really ticked off when there children (Elladan/Elrohir/Arwen/Aragorn/Legolas etc) are continually injured. It makes me mad when it happens in my forest. Do you know how hard it is to adequately clean orc (or human, elf, dwarf, hobbit, eagle, Beorning etc) blood off of leaves. It kills the young trees and makes Fangorn and really unpleasant place to live. **

**Be kind to ME or you might have a ticked off Ent visiting a location near you…..**

**Sincerely **

**Treebeard of Fangorn**


	2. Chapter 2 Letter to Erebor

A Letter From Treebeard

By arelenriel

I do not own the characters or the locations Tolkien does.

To: Dwarves of Erebor

Lonely Mountain

Eregion

Middle Earth

From: Treebeard Lord of Fangorn Forest

Lalaburantamethamelabana Dell

Fangorn Forest

Eregion, Middle Earth

July 23 Summer Year 4 of the Sixth Age

Dear King Thorin III:

I am writing in regards to the Ambassadorial Representative that you sent to sit at the Council of Elrond, Earendilion, Peredhil, Lord of Imladris, Heir to the High Kingships of both the Noldor and Sindar in Middle Earth, father of High King of Men Aragorn Ellessar Telecontar, and his lady wife Arwen Undomiel Peredhil. He is boorish, rude loud and smelly. This is not however what I am writing you about since that is the only type of behaviour that becomes a Son of Aule. I am writing in regards to his exemplary manners on his visit to Fangorn Forest. He was very polite and kind in his own gruff way towards his young travelling companion Legolas who only had to speak to him a single time about lifting his axe in my forest. Normally we must request that several times of members of your race (nothing against your people ,you understand you just have a bad reputation when it comes to trees.). I have since head that young Sir Gimli has been knighted by the High King of Men and has earned the respect of the elves of Lorien due to his affection for the Lady of the Golden Wood. Buraruammllharatanthalicabandawedaglam (congratulations on raising such a fine dwarf) ! I would also like to thank the contingent of warriors that you sent us to begin the process of clean up at Orthanc. Although it is in our purview to create lovely forest groves and garden's on the grounds of Orthanc repairing the dwarves stonework is not something that ents (unless kidnapped tortured and turned into trolls like the elves were changed into orcs) are particularly skilled at. We have not got the proper number of fingers on our hands to be able to build things well at any rate. Have you any word from Sir Gimli on how those young rapscallions of periannath are doing anyways? They made this forest quite lively for some time. I heard that the youngest one Master Pippin has just been married. The High King Ellessar, Queen Arwen, Prince Legolas of the Woodland Realm, Prince Faramir and Princess Eowyn of Ithilien, and King Eomer of Rohan and his Queen passed near the border of the forest on the way to the wedding. I spoke with them for a few minutes and it is good to know that they are all doing so well. Well Radagast who has kindly been scribing these letters for me is meeting up with the party from Lothlorien. I am afraid that the last of the Sindarin and Noldorin elves are leaving these shores with Lady Galadriel and Lord Elrond. The remaining Silvan elves will leave with Lord Celeborn, King Thranduil, Prince Legolas and Cirdan when the High King and his Lady pass to Mandos. Humabalartalthransa… These shores will be a sad place to live when there are no longer any elves .Perhaps I will fall into treeishness when that occurs. I do miss my entwife so much. I will not see her before the End of Days but, at least I have duty to hold me. Well King Thorin as long as they keep their axes lowered and only take dead and fallen wood to use from my forest your dwarves may pass through Fangorn any time they wish.

Burarum,Treebeard


	3. Chapter 3: Dear Elrond

Letters from Treebeard

By arelenriel

Chapter 3: A Letter to Elrond

From: Treebeard Lord of Fangorn Foresest

Fangorn Forest

Eregion, Middle Earth

July 27 Year 4 , 4th Age

To: Lord Elrond of Rivendell

The Last Homely House

Rivendell Gorge, Middle Earth

Dear Elrond:

I have finally found a scribe to replace young Radagast since he has already left to meet with Galadriel and the Galadhrim that will be travelling with her from Lorien to Rivendell. Young Legolas has come to visit my forest with Gimli son of Gloin. He has kindly offered to scribe this letter for me as a farewell to one who has served the needs of Middle Earth above his own needs for far to long. I will let you know that Aragorn the young king and your little daughter Arwen travelled through my forest recently on their way to visit young King Eomer of Rohan who has only recently married. She looked to be in the words of men and elves pregnant. You my friend are going to be a grandfather in the near future. I know you must sail old friend. The fading is beginning to take both you and the Lady of the Golden Wood. Even though your children and your father in law would have you both stay. Go to Celebrian and your birth and foster fathers (Gil-Galad , Maglorand Maedhros) and be healed old friend. I will always watch over Arwen and her descendents for you one Celeborn and the twins sail for Valinor. For one thing the future generations of Isildurs line must remember exactly what was sacrificed so that their world would have a future. And when the last of the Elves leaves these shores Myself and Old Tom Bombadil will be the only one's left living who remember the events of the First Three Ages of Middle Earth. We will bear witness so that they will not forget and fall victim once more to pride and evil ways. I will make sure that Gwaihir and I keep you and Celebrian in contact with Aragorn Arwen and those left behind. I have volunteered to act as a postal drop point for both them and their descendents and Gwaihir and his kin who have the right to travel back and forth on the Straight Road to Valinor will bring their letters to their Elven Kin. This way you will not truly be separated from children and grandchildren. I hear from Arwen that the twins have made their choice and will come to join you in Valinor once Celeborn sails. This is good, you will not be totally alone. Farewell my friend. We have shared most of the History of Middle Earth together and I will miss you. May the Star of your father Earendil light your journey.

Sincerely

Treebeard Lord of Fangorn Forest

P.S. If the Entwives are their tell them we will see them again someday. Tell Fimbrethil I love her and our Entings are grown and doing fine. Tell her as well that young Legolas is healing her garden's for he.


	4. Chapter 4 Dear Celeborn and Thranduil

Letters From Treebeard

by arelenriel

Chapter 3

From: Treebeard of Fangorn Forest

To: Celeborn and Thranduil, The Kings of Northern and Southern Mirkwood

FO 6

My friends,

Blessed be to Yavanna this day. Our small friends the Shirelings had located the Entwives. They have been living in the Shire all along. Master Samwise wrote me last week that he had met up with some of out lady loves while re-planting many of the trees that the evil Burarum and ungrateful wizard Saruman cut down in that lovely land. He has convinced Fimbrethil that she and the other Entwives should visit Fangorn as soon as possible. He has even talked them into the possibility of recreating their gardens on the Plains of Rohan. Oh how happy we shall be at the reunion my friends. As soon as they arrive I will send word to Mirkwood so that the Elves may regain their acquaintance with the Entwives. We would be most willing to assist you with the reclamation of Mirkwood as well my friend. Oh to hear the laughter and watch the play of Entings in the summer sun once more. It will be a delight to see. I think that it will be awhile before that happens. The Ents and Entwives have work to do. We let out differences separate us once before and now we must all find common ground to tread upon again. Else I fear that the race of Ents like so many other species of Middle Earth shall fade and become extinct. Oh how I fear for the mortal folk when all the magic leaves Arda.

Sincerely

Treebeard LalrumbaThanbura

Treebeard


End file.
